My New Name

I have a new nickname. It seems that Sara Jane and the kids were at a furniture store. While they were there, Zach found an interesting looking sofa. He called Sara Jane over and said he thought it would go in my house. Sara Jane said it would because it was kind of funky. Madison piped up and said, "Yes because Grandma is the Funk Master." So there you have it, I am officially the Funk Master! Watch for more funky stuff coming soon.

Slow, Slower, Slowest

So Susan is trying to beat me to the American Fork blogging. I can’t blame her. Obviously I am being very slow at it. Maybe it is my broken toe that is slowing me down. The doctor asked me on Friday if it had slowed me down and I said no. I didn’t say that my normal pace is so slow that if I slowed down I would be at a complete stop. Maybe I am at a complete stop. Well, I knew the blogging thing would be tricky for me because I spend all day typing on a computer and the last thing I want to do when I get home is type on the computer. So, my American Fork installments will be slow incoming and probably not worth waiting for. In fact, I may lose all interest in the entire project and just close the landfill.

Angst Definitely Belongs in the Landfill

So, Abi asked me why I was making a floor plan of the American Fork house. I told her it is because I am going to use it in my blog to talk about my childhood. It was a very important part of my childhood. Abi said she doesn't have many childhood memories. My other children don’t either as a rule. I have childhood memories—lots of them. And I have a great deal of angst that seems to be centered in my childhood.

Here are some definitions of angst:

• A feeling of dread, anxiety, anguish or apprehension often accompanied by depression.
• A kind of fear or anxiety; Angst is German for “fear.” It is usually applied to a deep and essentially philosophical anxiety about the world in general or personal freedom. (See existentialism.)

So, why do I have so much angst about my childhood (which has obviously been accompanied by depression) and anxiety about the world in general? I think this is probably a question that if it were answered could explain all of my problems in life. My children have no angst about their childhoods (with the possible exception of Amanda). They don’t even have memories—an issue for another discussion.

So, in an effort to rid myself of this angst, I plan to put into writing in my blog many childhood memories (good and bad) to see if the sheer effort of writing them down will allow them to stop plaguing me. I’m sorry you will have to be a part of this process (should you continue to read my blog that is).

And I apologize in advance to anyone (living or dead) I may offend in my memoirs. Just remember, it is a landfill and will eventually be bulldozed under.

Oh No (OH NO) I Broke My Toe (I BROKE MY TOE)

So last night I stubbed my toe on the end of the bed (not for the first time of course) and actually heard it crack. Gary heard it too. It was loud. It was sort of sticking out at a weird angle. I figured it was broken. And being a House fan I figured I better have it checked out just to make sure that the marrow wasn't leaking out and going to cause someone to have to bore a hole in my skull to relieve the pressure building up in my brain from pooling blood.

I was right. It is broken but nothing is leaking so that is good. I have to keep it wrapped and wear one of those really cute surgery boot things. The boot is ugly but it does make it so I can walk without wincing which is very good. The top of my foot it a lovely shade of aqua and my foot is swollen but the doctor said it should be gone within 6 weeks or so. No problem. I guess that walking around the zoo with Abi and Zane and Lily tomorrow isn't going to happen. Oh well...

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Back to Work I Go!

I started back to work on Tuesday. My first day back lasted 2 hours. During that time I cleaned my cubical and put up some pictures, put all my stuff in the drawers, and had my picture taken for my badge. Then I sketched some floor plans of the American Fork house that I am planning to use in an upcoming blog post. Even though they had put off my coming back for a week so they could get everything ready for me, nothing was ready. I didn't have a chair. I didn't have a computer. I finally just asked if I could go home and my boss said go. Not a very auspicious beginning.

I still don't have a computer even though I did manage to stay a full 8 hours today doing a few things for some other people and looking over existing process maps to get a handle on the processes I will be working on. I probably won't have a computer tomorrow either. It always seems to be like this at the beginning of a contract no matter how long they have to prepare for me to start. One interesting piece of news is that the project is scheduled to be completed in December so I will probably be at the job through the end of the year again. Yeah!

One other thing about going back to work that made me happy was that everyone seemed genuinely pleased to have me back. Even people I didn't work that closely with greeted me enthusiastically. Other people that I was newly introduced to said "Oh, you're the Lisa I've heard so much about"! It was quite a rush and I can always use some encouragement in the inter-personal skills department. So, at least for the first two days, it's good to be back to work. No guarantees about next week...

Valentine's Day Resolutions

OK, so I'm a little late with the resolution thing but I do want to declare one for this year even if it is late. I am going to have one new idea everyday this year. I have found myself thinking the same things over and over and I am sick of it! So I decided I needed some new thoughts. Most of these thoughts will probably come as I am reading scriptures because I am trying to be more diligent in thinking about what I am reading. But I hope some of the thoughts and ideas will be in the creative realm as well.

It seems that I haven't thought of a new thing in a long time let alone tried a new thing. This makes for a very dull life. My life is certainly proof of that. One thing I have done so far this year is read 2 books that I should have read long ago. I read Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights. They are both excellent by the way and within the first few pages I could see why they are classics. They draw you in and immerse you in a new world. I loved them and asked myself why I don't read more books? Because my life is dull and I don't think or do anything new. The other thing I realized in reading these books is that my vocabulary is very poor-a thing which I had not wanted to admit but had suspected for some time now. Perhaps adding words to my vocabulary will be included in the new ideas and thoughts.

I know that my sister (Susan) told me several years ago that she has so many ideas for crafts, recipes, all sorts of things that she can't even keep track of them or write them down fast enough. It was like she was speaking a foreign language to me. I could not understand it. But if you go to her blog, you will see what these ideas have become. She and I are very similar in some ways but very different in others-in the idea way at least. I know she also told me that as she does more art, she has more ideas. So that may be part of my problem. You have to use the ideas you have in order to get more. A good thing to remember in light of my Valentine's Day Resolution.

So here's to a year of new ideas. Most of them will probably end up in the landfill anyway... If you have any you would like to share with me, feel free!

Why a Landfill?

Well, when I decided to enter the blog-o-sphere I figured that most of what is out there is garbage and that my stuff should probably just be added to the landfill.

Even though they are smelly and taking over the world, I have some respect for landfills as well. For example, when we lived in California, we lived next to a community that was built on a landfill (Foster City). We went to church there and shopped there and wished we could afford to live there because it was really beautiful with waterways and great homes. Good things can grow from landfills.

Also, there are a lot of things in landfills that don't belong there. For example, in about 1969 my mom got a fabulous emerald ring for Christmas. Emerald is her birthstone and she had always wanted one so when she had her diamond reset in a new setting, she got an emerald put in the old setting for a Christmas present to her from her (as most of her presents were). She is also quite famous for cleaning up after Christmas quickly and thoroughly. By mid-afternoon she realized that she couldn't find her new ring. We looked through the trash and the ashes in the fireplace (because we burned the wrapping paper) but never found it. It made it to a landfill.

Additionally there are a lot of recyclables in landfills. I think perhaps some of what is in my blog may be recyclable. Perhaps someone can use it for something sometime.

Finally, I had a great-aunt Lillie who didn't believe in landfills, I suppose, since she never threw anything away. She kept every card and letter she ever received. She kept magazines. She did throw away newspapers but only after she had clipped out every article or ad or coupon of interest. She washed and reused aluminium foil and plastic food bags and paper plates and plastic cutlery. She kept egg cartons. She kept the styrofoam trays that meat comes on to use as dishes for cat food. I'm not sure how many cats she expected to have as there were thousands of them stacked in the back room and the ones she used for the cats were rinsed and reused and rarely thrown out. She kept string and twist ties and food scraps (for her cats). She kept empty jars of all kinds (perfume, food, ointments). Paper was always used on both sides before being thrown away. She kept basically EVERYTHING! While I loved her immensely, I did not appreciate having to go through everything she kept after she died. I maintain that she needed to have a little more respect for landfills.

With all that said, this is my landfill and I will toss all sorts of junk into it as I please. Perhaps there will be emeralds or recyclables or it may just be garbage but later something great could be built on top of it. Feel free to add to the heap! When it's full, we will bulldoze it under and use it for something else. OK?